How to properly evaluate reactions from people - important information

DISCLAIMER:  I am not a doctor or medical professional of any kind, and nothing here is medical advice. 

Hi, I just made a post about how I solved my problem about 20 years ago through a vegan diet. I did the diet in my senior year of high school, and when I started college the next fall, I had to go through a period of a least a few months where I had to very carefully gauge other peoples reactions, to confirm that the diet really had worked as I thought it had. I learned a lot about properly evaluating peoples reactions in regards to this issue. This post should be of interest to anyone with this condition. You have my permission to repost this anywhere you want, as long as it is unedited. I recommend copying the text of this post to a text editor on your computer, in case this vanishes from the internet for some reason.

Now, the first thing I have to say is that the foundation for believing you have a TMAU like disorder MUST be based on people actually making comments about it, either in your presence, or better yet directly to you. Only AFTER this foundation has been established should you start paying attention to potential non-verbal reactions from people! This is really important for everyone to understand. The foundation for believing you have a malodor situation must be based on very clear, unambiguous comments made about it.

The 'golden rule' of evaluating reactions is to NOT look directly at people when you want to see how they react to you. Otherwise the reason strangers touch their nose when they walk past you is that a stranger (you) is staring at them and they don't know why. Always watch people out of the corner of your eye, in such a way that they have no idea you are watching them.

The basic reactions someone will have to a bad smell are to rub/scratch their nose (usually a few times), coughing and sniffing. The key thing to remember is that it is almost CERTAIN that these reactions will be accompanied by the person also looking around for the source of the smell, and frequently with an unhappy, scrunched up look on their face. Because this is a primal thing, human reactions to it are usually simple and predictable, like if someone sees a snake slither past them for example.

It is EXTREMELY unlikely that someone will scratch their nose in reaction to a smell (which is an almost involuntary reaction) and then not look around for the source of it, but just stay looking down at their phone. I know this based on my own experiences of scratching my nose in reaction to a bad smell.

The main reasons people touch or scratch their noses have nothing to do with bad smells. A simple reason is that the inside can itch, but people don't want to stick their finger in there, so they rub the outside instead, to scratch the inside.

Putting that aside, the main reason that people touch or rub their nose is to create a distraction from a situation that is making them uncomfortable, such as having to walk past someone that makes them uncomfortable for whatever reason. You have probably done this yourself many times. Imagine you are on a train and have to walk right past a crazy, ranting homeless person. Most people, myself included, would probably touch their noses to create a distraction from this. The idea is that the nose touch/rub is an activity that you are focused on to take your attention away from the thing you want to avoid dealing with. It also signals to the person making you uncomfortable that your attention is somewhere other than on them. Its a bit tricky to explain the logic behind this, but I am sure that everyone has experience with doing this.

For someone to actually rub/scratch their nose from a bad smell requires it to be quite intense. I know this from my own experiences of having this reaction to a smell. The reason for the rub/scratch is to create a sensation in the nose to displace that of the bad smell, and this has a high threshold before it happens. Again, I know all these things from my own experience.

In spite of having this problem in the past, I still have a bit of a sensitive nose, and respond to bad smells like anyone else does, allowing me to understand how this works. The big thing to remember is the threshold for some actually rubbing/scratching their nose in response to a smell is quite high, and so -almost certainly- they would look around for the source of it, if this is really the reason they rubbed their nose.

For coughing, I can tell you that people cough all the time for reasons having nothing to do with smelling anything. I know this because I solved the problem I had, and know that people simply cough a lot. Covid may have changed this a bit, but prior to that at least, there were always people coughing on the train, and I know it had nothing to do with any kind of smell (I can smell myself by the way). So don't get too alarmed by people coughing, is my advice.

For sniffing, that may actually be in reaction to a smell. If it is, then like with the other reactions, the person will almost certainly look around for the source of the smell, and often with an unhappy, scrunched up look on their face. Of all the possible reactions, sniffing is the most concerning one that is most likely actually in response to smelling something. Unlike with rubbing/scratching the nose, this has a very low threshold to happen. It often means there is a faint scent of something, and the person is trying to get a bigger sample of it to understand it. If the smell was really bad, it is very unlikely someone would repeatedly sniff to amplify the smell. I say this based on my own experience with sniffing when something smells off. I would never sniff if a smell was truly bad. So sniffing can be an indicator of a smell, but one that is not completely out of control.

The way to tell people's reactions to you is to intentionally put yourself in really challenging spots and then carefully observe people out of the corner of your eye. So go to a train station and stand right next to someone without ever looking directly at them, and watch them out of the corner of your eye. The big thing you would want to look for would be them looking at you for seemingly no reason. Them moving away from you is of course another thing to watch for. Get on a train/bus and sit right next to someone. Watch them out of the corner of your eye and try and gauge their mood and general reaction to you. Remember not to look at anyone directly or that in itself will cause reactions, with the reactions being distraction mechanisms, as a result of someone making them uncomfortable by looking at them. You need to repeat these experiments again and again to figure out what is going on. I was lucky to be essentially forced to do this, but you may have to volunteer for this.

If you are male, even taking a quick glance at a female can easily be enough to make her uncomfortable enough to touch her nose when she walks past you. If you are female, its probably best do these tests with other females, to avoid interest in you from a male, which would cause them to look at you.

Another thing to do is to walk past someone, and then wait a couple seconds and turn your head around to see if they look back at you. Putting on headphones with no music/sound coming out is helpful in monitoring for any comments people make about you.

In general, the big reaction you always want to watch out for is someone looking at you with a long look for seemingly no reason. This does not seem to get much attention when it comes to reactions, but it really is the most important one. A bad smell coming from someone creates a powerful, natural curiosity that will almost certainly result in people looking at the person, with fairly long, curious looks.

If I was confident that my diet had worked but someone would touch their nose (or had another reaction) went they went past me, I would spend as much time as it took to try and figure out why that was. There was always some alternative explanation, involving that person creating a distraction because of something that made them slightly uncomfortable.

So speaking as someone who solved this problem a long time ago, people cough and touch/rub their noses all the time for reasons having nothing to do with smelling anything.

I hope this post makes people realize that many or most of the 'reactions' people have to them are not actually reactions at all, but just normal things humans do that have nothing to do with smelling anything at all. By understanding the importance of not looking directly at people when trying to judge reactions, the reactions may decline significantly for people. Good Luck!

 

EDIT: I just realized that the issue of people looking at you for seemingly no reason would actually vary quite a bit based on whether you are male or female. I am male, and so people don't normally 'check me out'. If you are female, people looking at you could simply be because they think you are attractive, and some males experience this as well.

The idea that nose touching/rubbing, sniffing and coughing would almost certainly be accompanied by looking around if they were about a smell still holds true, and this is key.

I also wanted to add that someone scratching/rubbing their nose is much more concerning than someone merely touching their nose, as far as reactions go.

I also want to add that if you are sitting right near someone, look for signs of their mood changing in a negative direction for seemingly no reason, as well.

EDIT: I wanted to add that the best way to avoid any kind of nose touching or anything like that is to look at the ground as you walk past people. This way you very clearly show that you are not looking at them, and you show that you are not even likely to look at them, and have no interest in them, and are lost in your own thoughts. This is the most powerful technique to minimize people doing things like nose touching/rubbing, that you might interpret as being reactions to you. You can still watch people out of the corner or your eye for reactions. I am not suggesting that you should go around staring at the ground, but rather that this is a tool if you feel the need to minimize possible false reactions.