Idea of Zoom friends for people with this condition

 

DISCLAIMER:  I am not a doctor or medical professional of any kind, and nothing here is medical advice. 

So, I had a post a couple months ago where I proposed that people with this condition solve the problem of their isolation by physically moving near other sufferers, to create real life social circles. This post is a much less extreme version of that concept (which I don't see any evidence is going anywhere). That original post is here: https://www.reddit.com/r/TMAU/comments/17q2xab/i_believe_i_have_found_the_solution_for_people/

My proposal is that people use Zoom, or other similar video chat tools to make online friends within this community. I am not talking about people actually moving near each other which I understand has all sorts of challenges and drawbacks that I won't elaborate on here. So, the basic idea is that the foundation for a real community of people exists here, but this potential is not actually being used. I do not expect that the broader society is going to be accepting of people with TMAU, and this leads to social isolation for the typical sufferer. So instead of wondering how to fit into the broader society which will not accept you, realize that you have a community of people who will accept you right here, your fellow TMAU sufferers.

Using things like Zoom could completely change the social isolation aspect of this condition. So, instead of being completely socially isolated because you are only around people when you have no choice, you could talk to your online friends from this community. I don't think that simple text (like this forum) can ever be a substitute for real life social contact, but using video is close enough to be a reasonable substitute. Its like the difference between a photograph of something, and a pixel art image of that same thing. This is not to say that online video chat is just as good as real life, but I think it gets the job done. The higher quality the camera and lighting, the better this works, since this is trying to be a substitute for real life interaction. This is similar to what the world did during the early days of the covid lockdowns.

This could be set up very quickly and could really transform things. This is especially important if people are going to school/work remotely, which dramatically reduces socialization opportunities. You would probably find that with in person school/work there are actually some people who tolerate you well, but you will miss out on this with remote school/work.

Probably the way to do this would be for people start out with some kind of group Zoom meeting where people get to know each other, and then look at pairing off into online friends. There needs to be a moderator, and common sense applied to all this. There can NOT be minors and adults mixing together with this, for all sorts of good reasons.

So, imagine someone with TMAU gets home from school where they have no real social contact with anyone, and then they video chat online using Zoom with an online friend from this community. This very simple thing could really transform peoples lives. Lifelong friendships could be created this way. Making friends from within this community would mean you would have a special bond from a shared traumatic experience, that the broader society cannot understand.

It is probably best to stick to same gender friend pairings, at least at first, to avoid things getting unexpectedly messy. It is certainly possible for this concept to be used for potential romantic partners. People who enjoy video chatting online might decide to become roomates in real life at some point, but this is not the goal or something to even think about initially.

So, I solved my problem about 20 years ago (see my profile for my posts if interested), and none of this stuff is for my own benefit. I hope someone will actually put this concept into practice - it could be started in a matter of days if you wanted. Most people can't cure this condition, and most can't just learn to ignore others reactions to them and live normally, and an isolated life is no life at all for most people.

This leaves the final option of sufferers forming their own communities so they can live real and normal lives. My original post was about people actually moving near each other, but the Zoom friends option I laid out here is much less extreme and much more doable. If nobody actually does anything with this concept, then it will have no value though. I think the fact that many people do remote work/school makes something like this even more important than it would otherwise be. The exact technical aspects of using Zoom or some other video conferencing/chat software and setting it up would need to be researched and dealt with. I am not an expert on that, but the stuff is pretty simple to use.

It is essential not to have naive ideas about this, thinking that nothing could go wrong because you are all part of the same community. All sorts of personal conflicts could occur, just like with any group of people interacting with each other, but that is normal. What could be jarring is the fact that this condition is suddenly not the dominant factor in a social interaction, since the people you are talking to have it as well. Be aware that there is literally no limit to the kind of mental/emotional damage that someone with this condition may have, as a result of years or decades of mistreatment. So you need to interact with everyone in a very gentle way, at least at first.

The most important reason for making this basic concept a reality is that there is no realistic alternative option to dealing with this condition for most people, in my view.

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